I guess this week's blog post is discussing quite a serious topic and one that's been on my mind for quite some time now. Now, obviously, having autism isn't easy. Living with an autistic person obviously isn't easy either, particularly since a lot of our rationale doesn't make much sense to your standard neurotypical. And yes, I understand the supports available to us are few and far between, so caring for us can be stressful. But come on guys, you can't just get rid of us if it gets too much.
There were a number of incidents that came to my attention, with a recurring theme, that encouraged me to write this post, and I shall tackle them all individually.
Firstly, there was the expulsion of a five-year-old autistic boy in a primary school in County Westmeath. Now, anyone with experience with autistic children knows we can be disruptive. We're loud, and, especially at a young age, are not aware of what behaviour is and isn't socially acceptable. In the first of a total of four statements registered charity Irish Autism Action (IAA) made on their Facebook page in mid-April (which you can read here), the young boy's behaviour " constitute[d] a real and significant threat to his health and safety and that of pupils and staff."
Ok, fair enough, some autistic people are not aware of their strength and can become aggressive at times, so I can understand why they had issues with the child. However, Irish Autism Action met with the school's Board of Management and presented to them a plan to help the child re-integrate into the school, which included IAA's Behaviour Analyst visiting the school to provide support to the young boy, and the school declined. They preferred to proceed with expulsion.
Um, excuse me?! Literally everything the school needed to help improve this child's behaviour was put in front of them. I have no idea if IAA charges schools for the use of their services such as a Behaviour Analyst, but if they do I'm sure it would be at a reduced rate, or else they wouldn't be a charity. Still, the minute things got difficult with a student, the school would rather simply discard him than go a little bit out of their way to improve conditions for him. I couldn't believe the insensitivity and ignorance of this school's Board of Management.
In IAA's second Facebook post concerning the matter, the boy's family remained in limbo as to whether or not he would be expelled. Unfortunately, the bad news was confirmed on 6th June with this statement from Irish Autism Action. According to the press release, the school principal originally accepted IAA's offer to receive help from a Behaviour Analyst, but the Board of Management preferred the option of expulsion. When I first read the post, I was heartbroken for the family, and then I was furious. Just, why? What good did they think expelling this little boy would do? For the school, for the family? Was it simply a case of 'one less problem'? How wonderful it must be to have the luxury to be able to just dismiss an autistic child and not deal with them anymore when it gets too difficult. Some of us aren't that lucky. Some of us live with it.
Do you think this is easy for us? Do you think we enjoy being loud, disruptive and aggressive? You think we're just at this for the craic? If you see an autistic person having a meltdown or being aggressive in public and you feel uncomfortable, I can guarantee the autistic person in question feels a hundred times worse than you. Do you think that young boy enjoys being such a disruption? No. He just wants to fit in. He's a child, he wants to play, he wants to learn, he wants friends. All he needs is a little patience, understanding, and some extra accommodations made to suit his needs. But instead, this school decided that was all too much effort and wanted to just get rid of him. Thanks so much for your concern, pal.
Thankfully, the child's family were stubborn, and persistent. They appealed the decision and won. On the 17th July 2017, Irish Autism Action announced on Facebook with a fourth and final press release (read here) that the five-year-old autistic boy had been reinstated to his primary school in County Westmeath. Hurrah! As the post reads, the child can return to school in September. However, the boy had been out of school since the 2nd of May, as he was suspended until further notice from the time the Board of Management notified the Department of Education of their intention to expel. This means he missed over two months of school, so I'm not sure if he'll repeat Junior Infants or progress to Seniors, but either way I would consider this case a victory to the autism community. Personally, I would have been reluctant to reinstate my child into a school with such a backwards attitude towards autistic people, but considering how difficult it can be to get a place in a primary schools I can understand why appealing the decision was the family's best option. Power to them!
Another incident that came to my attention when I saw someone share a link on Facebook to an article about a seven-year-old autistic boy in Kent in the UK, who wasn't allowed go on a class trip to the beach during a heatwave at the end of June (Source). The school's reasoning? The boy would need 'special supervision'. Now, I can see why the school would be concerned. Autistic people often lack a sense of danger, and can get ourselves into quite a bit of bother sometimes, without realising anything is wrong. So I get why the school would worry for his safety. My problem? The boy was only told the day before the trip that he wouldn't be allowed go, when he already had his outfit and his bucket and spade prepared. He was left in floods of tears, so the mother offered to join them on the trip to supervise him. But the school said no. I mean, what?! They literally said the reason he wasn't allowed go was because he needed special supervision, but when such supervision is offered (at no extra cost to the school, too) it's shut down? Please, you just don't want him possibly ruining your day with the rest of the "normal" kids, am I right?
Anyway, I've written much more than I thought I would so the last topic I want to discuss I will mention quickly. It's much more morbid, but gave me a lot of food for thought.
Basically, in 2013, in River Grove in the US, a fourteen-year-old boy with severe autism named Alex Spourdalakis was brutally murdered by his mother and godmother, who were supposed to be his carers. The murder was cold, calculated and brutal. The two women were convicted of involuntary manslaughter (how someone involuntary slits someone else's wrists I have no idea) and served three years each in prison. A year later, eleven-year-old Raashanai Coley was punched to death by her mother in Illinois. However, she was convicted of murder, and is currently serving a 43 year sentence. The difference? Alex was autistic and Raashanai was neurotypical (Source linked below).
There is a common trend of the media portraying those who murder disabled relatives or patients as victims who couldn't handle the stress of it all anymore, rather than the person who they actually killed (Source). Some of that ableist attitude can even be seen in this article that I found while researching Alex's case. Yeah, that's right, we're people too. So how come neurotypical lives are more valuable than ours? Why did Alex's mother and godmother receive a completely different charge and served a sentence that was merely a fraction of Raashanai's mother's? Is it more OK to kill a disabled person than an able-bodied person? You think we can't contribute to society like anyone else? We're smart too. We're talented. We have feelings. Loves, dreams, ambitions. We want to get places too.
Like I said, I know living or working with an autistic person can be difficult. We certainly don't make it easy anyway. I understand it can get stressful, it can get too much. But I promise, all we need is a little bit of patience, understanding, love and support. If you care for or live with someone who has Asperger's or autism and you're finding it all a bit too much, know that there are resources available to you where you can ask for help. Don't be shy, that's what they're there for.
In addition to smaller, regional charities, there is:
Irish Autism Action ( +353 44 9371680)
AsIAm (Contact AsIAm)
As well as their own website, AsIAm have thankfully compiled their own list of resources for anyone who may be looking for supports, which you can find here.
Samaritans Ireland (116 123 or jo@samaritans.org)
I apologise for the length of this post, but I missed last week so I guess I'm making up for it.😜
This week's post definitely has heart and meaning to it, so I hope you found it an interesting read. I cut my planned piece on Alex Spourdalakis quite short so I strongly recommend you read the two relevant articles that I have linked if you're interested. Again, thank you so much for reading this week's post, it always means the world to me. 💓
Don't forget, you can always ask me a question on Tumblr, send me a message on Facebook, or Tweet me!
Until next time, see ya around, it's been a real slice!
Ok, fair enough, some autistic people are not aware of their strength and can become aggressive at times, so I can understand why they had issues with the child. However, Irish Autism Action met with the school's Board of Management and presented to them a plan to help the child re-integrate into the school, which included IAA's Behaviour Analyst visiting the school to provide support to the young boy, and the school declined. They preferred to proceed with expulsion.
Um, excuse me?! Literally everything the school needed to help improve this child's behaviour was put in front of them. I have no idea if IAA charges schools for the use of their services such as a Behaviour Analyst, but if they do I'm sure it would be at a reduced rate, or else they wouldn't be a charity. Still, the minute things got difficult with a student, the school would rather simply discard him than go a little bit out of their way to improve conditions for him. I couldn't believe the insensitivity and ignorance of this school's Board of Management.
In IAA's second Facebook post concerning the matter, the boy's family remained in limbo as to whether or not he would be expelled. Unfortunately, the bad news was confirmed on 6th June with this statement from Irish Autism Action. According to the press release, the school principal originally accepted IAA's offer to receive help from a Behaviour Analyst, but the Board of Management preferred the option of expulsion. When I first read the post, I was heartbroken for the family, and then I was furious. Just, why? What good did they think expelling this little boy would do? For the school, for the family? Was it simply a case of 'one less problem'? How wonderful it must be to have the luxury to be able to just dismiss an autistic child and not deal with them anymore when it gets too difficult. Some of us aren't that lucky. Some of us live with it.
Do you think this is easy for us? Do you think we enjoy being loud, disruptive and aggressive? You think we're just at this for the craic? If you see an autistic person having a meltdown or being aggressive in public and you feel uncomfortable, I can guarantee the autistic person in question feels a hundred times worse than you. Do you think that young boy enjoys being such a disruption? No. He just wants to fit in. He's a child, he wants to play, he wants to learn, he wants friends. All he needs is a little patience, understanding, and some extra accommodations made to suit his needs. But instead, this school decided that was all too much effort and wanted to just get rid of him. Thanks so much for your concern, pal.
Thankfully, the child's family were stubborn, and persistent. They appealed the decision and won. On the 17th July 2017, Irish Autism Action announced on Facebook with a fourth and final press release (read here) that the five-year-old autistic boy had been reinstated to his primary school in County Westmeath. Hurrah! As the post reads, the child can return to school in September. However, the boy had been out of school since the 2nd of May, as he was suspended until further notice from the time the Board of Management notified the Department of Education of their intention to expel. This means he missed over two months of school, so I'm not sure if he'll repeat Junior Infants or progress to Seniors, but either way I would consider this case a victory to the autism community. Personally, I would have been reluctant to reinstate my child into a school with such a backwards attitude towards autistic people, but considering how difficult it can be to get a place in a primary schools I can understand why appealing the decision was the family's best option. Power to them!
Another incident that came to my attention when I saw someone share a link on Facebook to an article about a seven-year-old autistic boy in Kent in the UK, who wasn't allowed go on a class trip to the beach during a heatwave at the end of June (Source). The school's reasoning? The boy would need 'special supervision'. Now, I can see why the school would be concerned. Autistic people often lack a sense of danger, and can get ourselves into quite a bit of bother sometimes, without realising anything is wrong. So I get why the school would worry for his safety. My problem? The boy was only told the day before the trip that he wouldn't be allowed go, when he already had his outfit and his bucket and spade prepared. He was left in floods of tears, so the mother offered to join them on the trip to supervise him. But the school said no. I mean, what?! They literally said the reason he wasn't allowed go was because he needed special supervision, but when such supervision is offered (at no extra cost to the school, too) it's shut down? Please, you just don't want him possibly ruining your day with the rest of the "normal" kids, am I right?
Anyway, I've written much more than I thought I would so the last topic I want to discuss I will mention quickly. It's much more morbid, but gave me a lot of food for thought.
Basically, in 2013, in River Grove in the US, a fourteen-year-old boy with severe autism named Alex Spourdalakis was brutally murdered by his mother and godmother, who were supposed to be his carers. The murder was cold, calculated and brutal. The two women were convicted of involuntary manslaughter (how someone involuntary slits someone else's wrists I have no idea) and served three years each in prison. A year later, eleven-year-old Raashanai Coley was punched to death by her mother in Illinois. However, she was convicted of murder, and is currently serving a 43 year sentence. The difference? Alex was autistic and Raashanai was neurotypical (Source linked below).
There is a common trend of the media portraying those who murder disabled relatives or patients as victims who couldn't handle the stress of it all anymore, rather than the person who they actually killed (Source). Some of that ableist attitude can even be seen in this article that I found while researching Alex's case. Yeah, that's right, we're people too. So how come neurotypical lives are more valuable than ours? Why did Alex's mother and godmother receive a completely different charge and served a sentence that was merely a fraction of Raashanai's mother's? Is it more OK to kill a disabled person than an able-bodied person? You think we can't contribute to society like anyone else? We're smart too. We're talented. We have feelings. Loves, dreams, ambitions. We want to get places too.
Like I said, I know living or working with an autistic person can be difficult. We certainly don't make it easy anyway. I understand it can get stressful, it can get too much. But I promise, all we need is a little bit of patience, understanding, love and support. If you care for or live with someone who has Asperger's or autism and you're finding it all a bit too much, know that there are resources available to you where you can ask for help. Don't be shy, that's what they're there for.
In addition to smaller, regional charities, there is:
Irish Autism Action ( +353 44 9371680)
AsIAm (Contact AsIAm)
As well as their own website, AsIAm have thankfully compiled their own list of resources for anyone who may be looking for supports, which you can find here.
Samaritans Ireland (116 123 or jo@samaritans.org)
I apologise for the length of this post, but I missed last week so I guess I'm making up for it.😜
This week's post definitely has heart and meaning to it, so I hope you found it an interesting read. I cut my planned piece on Alex Spourdalakis quite short so I strongly recommend you read the two relevant articles that I have linked if you're interested. Again, thank you so much for reading this week's post, it always means the world to me. 💓
Don't forget, you can always ask me a question on Tumblr, send me a message on Facebook, or Tweet me!
Until next time, see ya around, it's been a real slice!
Meagan (but my friends call me Meg)
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